I miss you terribly each day my love,
Miss you with a wound that stabs and aches.
I see the love around me, and it takes
So much strength simply just to move.
Soon, soon, my love, this waiting will be done
You and I will have what we desire.
On days like this we'll sit beside the fire,
Undoing all the pain of days long gone.

author unknown


I call him my husband, for he is to me. We were together for a good while. It was in the sixties, he was from America and I am Dutch, we met on the isle of Mallorca {Spain} We were destined to meet. It was love at first sight, it was the sixties and we were so young and life seemed so promising. Oh how we loved. I was too naive to notice that he drank too much at times. I had never even heard of alcoholics before. Neither did I realize he could not cope well with life. "I will never reach 30" he used to say. 

We had a child together, a beautiful daughter. By the time she was born, he had left, leaving me devastated, heartbroken and oh so very angry! He had reached the age of 30, then he left this life voluntary. 

I knew about the afterlife, I had experimented making contact with the other world in my teens. I knew I had two guides or guardian angels in the afterlife, two men from previous lives, who were looking after me. One is Robert, a husband of many lives, and the other is Mike. In this life I don't know either of them, but my soul knows them very well. In those days I was afraid of death and afterlife and I had asked them to stop linking up with me. They did immediately. But all those years I've known they were there "only a breath away" as Mike once told me and he added, "come write with us when you're ready." 

After my husband's death I knew I was ready. I sat down at the dinner table, paper in front of me. I picked up a pencil and looked at the whiteness of it. Then I thought,  "You owe me" and I wrote down his name and stared at it. I put the pencil underneath his name and just sat there. A feeling of utter calm and inner peace flooded in me. I noticed the pencil in my hand was pulling wobbly lines towards the letters of his name and I know he was trying very hard to communicate!! That's how it all started. It took a few days before he was able to write a sentence. I began asking questions, which he answered with yes or no

I realized they have to learn to communicate with us, it doesn't just happen. Life over there is somewhat similar to our life here - it is the love, light, the warmth, the friendship, the unconditional love, that makes the difference. When good communication between us was established, Mike and Robert came back into my life, with such strength and such love that I am totally overwhelmed by it all.  

From these 3 people I receive so much love, understanding and support, they push me on to live this life as best as I can. They will not and cannot pick each and every stone from my path, but many smaller pebbles have been moved, many good things have happened to me since I met my Thomas again. I communicate with them some way or other. I burn a candle daily and say something to them and I know they will hear me. 

It is a most loving and beautiful relationship and I love them deeply, the way they love me, unconditionally. They write and have written the most wonderful letters and poems and they have even given me a few drawings, so I know what Robert and Mike look like. I would love to share some of those letters with you .



Keep a candle burning for all of us, here and beyond.


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