This is the homeward journey of a very dear friend, Margit, who died at 40 from cancer.

"I have come to tell you of my journey. I was suffering from the feared illness, and in the end,  I think I just fell asleep. I was so dosed with morphine, I was asleep most of the time. I slept a long time before I definitely left my body. Sometimes I could see myself lying in my bed and my mother and sister watching over me. And then I was back into my body, this kept happening, popping in and out of my body. It bothered me, as I knew I was ready to go, I was tired and fed up with the whole situation, besides I had seen my father already. He had come in my sleep and had told me to watch out for him as he would be there to help me. That he would fetch me and bring me home. I was stupefied when I saw him, exactly the way he was, when we were young.

Anyway, finally I heard a soft voice saying : "You can let go now , dear child" and with an enormous speed I was sucked out of my sick body and into a kind of tunnel. It wasn't dark, you know, very light and it became lighter still. And the speed was incredible! I was a bit frightened, though, but I thought of my father and at that same time I saw him, right next to me. He took my hand and we slowed down considerably. It was more like floating then, really wonderful and not a single pain, I couldn't believe it. I didn't feel any sadness either, I just felt good. Only so tired, I felt so terribly tired and suddenly I was carried in strong arms, I think my father must have carried me, for I was too tired to notice anything anymore. 

When I woke up I was lying on a sort of bed in a beautiful place, with soft, sweet music all around me. My father was there, holding my hand and my grandparents, I saw my grandparents. I was not allowed to get up, I had to get better first, the illness had taken a lot out of me and I had to become strong and then he would show me around. That was my journey and I can't describe the love there is here, the peace. I don't ever want to leave here, this is home, this is where we will all meet again."

A friend's story

"Going over to the other side, is quite an experience. It is different for everyone of us. I experienced it as very pleasant. I just flew away through a lighted arch and came into a beam of light and found myself in this magnificent light with other new arrivals. Some of who recognized each other and happy greetings were exchanged. I didn't know anybody but didn't feel lonely, no I felt very comfortable there. We just stood there in this warm light and in the background I could hear soft tones, it was all very pleasant and just as I thought I wouldn't mind staying there, someone came towards me, it seemed as though she came through the light beam. There were others coming through the light towards the other people there. The ones coming through the light were beautiful men and women, dressed in white and pale blue. The lovely lady that came to me put her arms around me and I felt a warmth and love, I had never felt before. I can't begin to tell you what I felt. She just smiled and said `You're home now, you're safe. And that was it , my journey to this incredible world of Love and Light."

My cousin Arthur

 who jumped out of his parents apartment, 8 stories high, he was 26

"Hi, well here is my story. I tell you I was already sorry when I jumped, but there you are, I was falling, no going back. God, I was scared, I saw the ground coming closer and closer and it does take a long time to fall. I was terrified, believe me. And I thought of my parents, my father, who was there when I jumped. But the fear was worse, than my regrets. Then it was over. I don't know what happened next, all I know is that I found myself at a funeral, with my parents and brothers and all the rest of the family and who have you, friends, I saw many friends. I sat there next to my brother, who was in tears and asked him who it was, they were all crying for. I had no idea, but he didn't answer me. I asked my other brother, but he was no help either. And I didn't want to ask my parents for they seemed overcome with grief, so I sat there and wondered why no one seemed to notice me. Then I heard my name being mentioned over and over again, throughout the sermon. It drove me crazy. I realized it had to be me there in the coffin, but how, I was sitting there, wasn't I? I was totally confused and didn't know what to do, so I just stayed close to my family. I even went back home with them, but it was annoying for everyone was talking about me, as if I wasn't there and I knew I was. I went for a walk through the city, I was bored out of my wits. I went in and out of shops, talked to strangers, but nobody could hear me. 

Then suddenly I became so angry, really mad with anger and frustration and all I could do was to kick at everything I saw, but nothing happened, no broken windows, nothing at all, which didn't help my anger and then there was this little dog on a leash, an ugly little thing and, I'm sorry, but I will tell you, I kicked that poor thing as hard as I could and all it did was snap at me, I hadn't even been able to touch it, but at least it snapped at me. By then I was crying with anger and I started to run, just run, as fast as I could, I never looked up and I never looked back... I wanted to go, I don't know where to, but I wanted to go. And when finally I stopped running and did look up, I didn't see anything or anybody. I had run into a thick mist and it had turned cold. It made me even angrier. I began to walk around, which calmed me down and I realized what a stupid stunt I had done and how hurt my parents and brothers must be and that now, I had to pay for my stupidity. The mist cleared then and that is, when I saw my grandfather, my wonderful grandfather, who said he had been there all the while , waiting for me to clear the mist. And that is my story, I am extremely happy here, but I have learned that you are supposed to love the life that was given to you and that you are not supposed to end it yourself. Arthur."

Keep a candle burning for all of us,
here and beyond.

© harriet
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